THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID // Dethra U. Giles // Proverbs 18
**The message emphasizes the power of words and the importance of listening correctly. Miscommunication often leads to unnecessary conflict, while wise communication brings life, peace, and strong relationships.
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Scriptural Focus (Proverbs 18:13–21)
• Listening before responding is a mark of wisdom.
• The tongue holds the power of life and death.
• Words produce consequences—good or bad—that we must live with.
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Key Points
1. Don’t Answer Before You Hear
• Reacting too quickly leads to misunderstanding and embarrassment.
• Many arguments come from half-heard conversations.
👉 Wisdom listens fully before speaking.
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2. Misunderstanding Fuels Conflict
• “That’s not what I said” reveals how easily communication gets twisted.
• Tone, assumptions, and emotions can distort meaning.
👉 Clarity prevents unnecessary division.
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3. Words Have Creative Power
• Your words shape environments, relationships, and outcomes.
• Speaking negatively can produce damage, while positive words can bring healing and encouragement.
👉 What you speak, you help create.
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4. Life and Death Are in the Tongue (v.21)
• Words can:
• Destroy reputations
• Break spirits
• Or uplift and restore
• You will “eat the fruit” of your words—meaning you will experience their results.
👉 Choose words that produce life.
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5. Emotional Speech Leads to Regret
• Speaking out of anger often results in saying things you don’t truly mean.
• Once words are released, they cannot be taken back.
👉 Control your emotions before you speak.
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6. Seek Understanding Over Reaction
• Healthy communication requires humility and patience.
• Ask for clarity instead of assuming intent.
👉 Good communication is about understanding, not winning.
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Practical Application
• Pause and listen completely before responding.
• Repeat or clarify what you heard.
• Be mindful of tone and delivery.
• Speak words that build others up.
• Allow God to guide your speech.
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Closing Insight
The phrase “That’s not what I said” highlights the gap between speaking and understanding. God calls us to close that gap by becoming better listeners and more intentional speakers—because our words carry the power to shape lives.
